End of an Era? A Senior Reflects on her Final Year of High School Racing

By Brynn Rathert

I have been skiing since I could walk. Starting in the Little Nordic program at four years old, I’ve somehow managed to waddle and “go-go gorilla” my way to the end of my final varsity season on the East High ski team.

Growing up in an adventurous family in Alaska, skiing quickly became a huge part of my life. I fell in love with the sport in elementary school, and began skiing somewhat competitively with Alaska Winter Stars in sixth grade. I later switched from Winter Stars to APU after my first Junior Nationals races in Minneapolis as a freshman, with my goals already set for the next high school and Besh Cup season. 

My early-season races sophomore year did not go as I had so eagerly hoped and trained for. After a diagnosis of celiac disease and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (a real mouthful, I know, and more commonly called POTS) and the burnout that came along with it, I made the decision to take a year off from skiing competitively and focus on healing my body and remembering why I am so dedicated to the sport in the first place.

I truly believed that my ski racing years were over for good. I spent my junior season training with the East High team when I could; everyone there was beyond supportive of my decision and recovery. I also returned to Junior Nordic as an assistant coach, one of many full-circle moments in the past few years.

yes the mascot of Bettye Davis East Anchorage High School is a thunderbird; yes that is what is portrayed on the sleeves and shin here; yes this is cooler than your race suit (courtesy photo)

But when the start of my senior year rolled around, I knew I wanted to wear those signature East colors for a final season before I graduated. My body was much stronger, and I was honestly surprised at how much I had missed the sport and the people I did it with. It felt like a last hurrah, coming “out of retirement,” as my friends and I joked, to race again for one more season. 

There are a few specific moments that really stood out to me this season: When there was so little snow that nearly every team in Anchorage was doing intervals on the same short loop at Kincaid. When there was no snow at all, so our team resorted to playing water polo for a cardio workout (I think we all have a newfound respect for water polo players). Singing the East fight song as the whole team came through the finish of the Eastside Relay wearing their crazy costumes. Helping show the exchange students the proper way to apply pre-race glitter. Playing pump-up music in the tent before races. Our newly invented “retirement of the race suit” tradition for seniors. Hugging a childhood friend and fellow skier after our last weekend of races, whispering, “It’s over, we’re done.”

But the moment it really hit me that this was the end of an era was before my final race of the season, the mixed-technique relay at State. I was the first leg of the girls relay, and just before I headed over to my start, the other three members of the relay team ran over to join me in the staging area and we did our team cheer for the last time. Our relay team finished third that day.

While those were a few of the specific memories that shaped my experience as a senior, there’s a bittersweet aspect to all the “lasts” in a senior season that I’m sure many athletes can relate to — last sprint day, last team party, last regions, last banquet, last time smearing glitter on a teammate’s cheeks before the start of your last race.

From the other athletes I’ve talked to, this sensation seems to be nearly universal. I think it can be difficult to really realize the finality of it all until you’re listening to your coach give a speech at the end-of-year banquet about their goals for next season, and you think, “Wait, I won’t be here for that.”

In addition, for many high school athletes, the end of this ski season marks more than just the end of high school racing. There’s a certain rhythm that comes with ski training: high training load through the summer, tapering through the fall, racing in the winter, then easy, chill skiing in the spring before getting right back into it in the summer. With graduation looming, I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling a little lost without the comfort and familiarity of yet another year of the same rhythm to look forward to. But forcing us to step out of our comfort zone to find a new rhythm, a new way that skiing fits into our changing lives? Maybe that’s a good thing.

this photo: Jerome Leveque; all others: courtesy photo

As for me, I feel like my senior season was a success. While still in the process of overcoming illness, I had zero expectations for myself, results-wise, for this year. But I was pleasantly surprised, and I think my coaches were too, to find that lessening the pressure I put on myself during races improved not only my results but also my overall race experience. After taking nearly a year off of the training cycle, I was performing almost as well as I had been pre-illness, and enjoying myself exponentially more. This was an important lesson that I learned about competing: Sometimes less pressure really does lead to better results, and just an overall more positive experience.

Finally, I feel that a common misconception with skiing is that it is a very isolating sport, since races can feel like purely individual efforts. But I have found through years of training and competing that the shared experience of simply putting your full effort into something, even if it is toward an individual result rather than a team victory, really brings people together. I have come to value the goals of my teammates and coaches just as much as my own aspirations, and I think a supportive team can really make a world of a difference in this sport.

Way back in Junior Nordic, I learned to ski with many of the athletes who I am now racing alongside. I am so grateful to be able to experience these skiing “lasts” with the same people with whom I experienced so many skiing “firsts.” These people, along with the other athletes I’ve trained and raced with on various teams, have truly shaped my experience as a high school skier. 

The ski community is supportive and spirited. At the end of the day, the sport is about working hard, getting outside, and enjoying the good company of teammates. So even though the various senior skiers in Anchorage are going our separate ways in the next year — whether for a new club team, NCAA racing, or something else entirely — I am confident that we all will find that same spirit wherever we choose to go.

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