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By Gavin Kentch
LAGO DI TESERO — A deceptively sneaky right-hand corner on a downhill approximately two kilometers into the distance course has not been kind to American athletes, among others, through the first two days of distance racing here. On Saturday, a fall there took out pre-race favorite Jessie Diggins early in the women’s skiathlon, leaving her not only behind in that race but also saddled with bruised ribs of an unknown degree of severity going forward. On Sunday, in precisely the same place, both Zak Ketterson and Gus Schumacher fell victim to this spot as well.
“Everybody just started snowplowing and freaking out and one of the Finns, I don’t know if it was Niskanen or Hakala or somebody, just ate shit directly in front of me,” a frustrated Ketterson said on Sunday of his race. “I skied into them, broke my pole, fell pretty hard and then got back up and just burned so much matches trying to catch back up to the group with one pole. Didn’t get a new one until the stadium and then was kind of just fighting from there.”
The following day, I put out a call to Nordic Insights Instagram followers for suggestions of what to name this feature of the course. My readers… did not disappoint. Here are some of their suggestions, organized in a generally thematic manner.
Editor’s note: I am really assuming that an American doesn’t, like, lose out on a medal by falling in that spot today; that would make this feel in somewhat poorer taste. That said, today is of course an interval-start race, and I trust our women to keep the rubber side down.
Scrupulously neutral
“The Righthander” (Matt Whitcomb, on the record, graciously declining to engage with any of the more pointed onomastic suggestions that Nat and I were gleefully lobbing his way)
Political (liberal)
Project 2025 [since it’s bad for the U.S. Same reasoning for the next one.]
Trump Turn
End of Empire
“American Democracy,” since it seems okay but is on the verge of collapsing
ICE out
ICE out corner
The Donald. Terrible for Americans.
Conservative corner. It bends hard to the right and will fuck you up.
Political (conservative)
[null set]
Named for a specific racer
Diggins’ Ditch
Diggins Dig-In
Gold Digger
Schumacher’s Sitzmark
Hakola corner
Anger corner
Newell Memorial bib 3 Quarterfinal Crash-Out corner [this is an all-time deep cut and I respect this. –Ed.]
American-specific
Whack a ’murican
American Carnage
Yankee Doodle
Uncle Slam
Evoking the course topography or turn
the corner™
Stupid curve
Curve of Doom and Despair
The Topsy-Turvy Slidy Curvy
“Decreasing Radius Danger Zone,” or “Danger Zone” for short
“Inside The Pines,” since the best line was inside off the trail.
“Yellow Card,” since so many of the skiers cut inside the course there to make the turn
Banana peel bend [hilariously, this comes from a direct relative of one of the athletes on the team in Val di Fiemme this week. It is not one of the three athletes who crashed there; I don’t know if that would be more hilarious or more pointed.]
Ruff Roundabout
The corner of misery
Slush gate
Swoop of death
Righthand cold evil
Crash corner
Carnage corner
General
Resilience Builder
Redemption Curve — for when they make race-defining moves there later in the Games
Schitt’s Curve
Pezzo forte
Boulevard of Broken Dreams
The silence of the lambs
Terrible
The Collapser
I don’t get it
Nasty Elbow Pasta
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